The Onion understands my happiness.

President Elect Obama has made a thousand promises, all wrapped in the claim of hope and change, and together, yes we can. 

The problem? Obama's answers are historically demonstrated to fail, to increase the misery of the population, and again historically has caused said leaders to be labeled as absolute abject failures by Historians. 

There will be setbacks and false starts. There are many who won't agree with every decision or policy I make as president. And we know the government can't solve every problem.

The Onion, which has long been a favorite of mine, has accurately pegged this election. 

WASHINGTON—African-American man Barack Obama, 47, was given the least-desirable job in the entire country Tuesday when he was elected president of the United States of America. In his new high-stress, low-reward position, Obama will be charged with such tasks as completely overhauling the nation's broken-down economy, repairing the crumbling infrastructure, and generally having to please more than 300 million Americans and cater to their every whim on a daily basis. As part of his duties, the black man will have to spend four to eight years cleaning up the messes other people left behind. The job comes with such intense scrutiny and so certain a guarantee of failure that only one other person even bothered applying for it. Said scholar and activist Mark L. Denton, "It just goes to show you that, in this country, a black man still can't catch a break."

Peggy Jones, well it looks like she's still going to have to worry about things like how to put gas in her car, and how to pay her mortgage. 

It's historic all right.