Incandescent Lightbulb Ban

Rush Limbaugh likes to say that Liberals are only ever judged by their intentions, never by the results of their actions. On the other side of that coin, Conservatives are always judged by the offense someone else takes at them, their success, their words taken out of context or whatever. Liberals, listen up, I love the ban on Incandescent Light bulbs. I honestly do love it.

Now, for the Liberals who might read this, they are wondering why I love it. Is it because like all Conservatives I want to poison the air and water? Is it because the Compact Florescent Bulbs they mandated do in fact contain Mercury, enough that should one break in my house it is by Federal Law technically an Hazardous Material Accident requiring a very expensive clean up? Is it because of this Mercury that is in my bulb, even if it doesn't break will be thrown away in a landfill, and eventually contaminate the water? Or perhaps it will be incinerated and then the Mercury Vapor will poison the air? Perhaps it is the joy that we tricked the Liberals into helping us poison the air and water with the notional goal of saving a few cents worth of electricity?

I got to thinking about this when I read the Hot Air piece on the Incandescent Bulb Ban. I wonder how long before Hollywood starts a movie, where Conservatives sneak undercover operatives into Environmental groups to trick them into supporting the Compact Florescent Bulb all so we could poison the air and water.

Perhaps that is the answer. Perhaps we have slipped undercover operatives into these groups to poison the air and water and to kill as many people as possible. I mean, we turn our food into gasoline via Ethanol. This leads to hundreds of thousands of deaths from starvation every year. We banned DDT which we know has led to millions of deaths from Malaria. We mandated a light bulb that poisons our ground water and air which will result in millions of deaths. Oh, I just realized, New York City dumps their garbage off shore on big barges. That means that the CFL's are dumping Toxic amounts of mercury into the fragile sea.

So why do I love the ban on normal incandescent light bulbs and the mandated use of a toxic bulb? Since I'm conservative, I'll let you all decide. The Liberals will decide it is whatever reason I mentioned, or didn't, that offends them. That's fine, they wouldn't read or consider anything I actually wrote anyway.

As for the rest of you in the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy. Remember, the plan is to force the Liberals into mandating the Chevrolet Suburban to protect the children. Remember to keep quoting the statistics of children surviving accidents in the Suburban. For the Women's rights gang, the statistics of a woman surviving with minimal injuries in a larger vehicle are much better. Make up whatever statistics you want, Liberals aren't smart enough to figure it out. I know, that's insulting. But hey, they mandated a product that poisons the air and water. Which is what we've been trying to do for centuries.